**i love my linh! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISSY! --finally outta the teens. oy.. oy oy. :) THANX for makin' my day.. always. So i just came back from Chilles.. however u spell it.. with linh. I had sUCH a great time just chating and all. What can i say. the birthday grl is AWEEEESOME! and i mean FABULOUS. soo hot, so sexy, so intelligent.. soo everything a friend/person can ask for. lol. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! yay roomie!
** For years... my family has supported me in MOst but not everything i do. I love them a lot although times were and are still rough. Now that I'm moving and going off to college, i find so much more meaning in the little things i would dismiss otherwise in the past. and i'm sorry for not seeing and appreciating it more in the past yrs. My uncles and aunts. Mommy and Daddy. Siblings.. yeah, even the older ones. blaahh. haha.
**I'll miss my little sisters the most. O, my darling little monsters. what or where would i be without you two? Answer? DEAD. Yes... that would be correct and totally honest. Emily and Stephanie. I will die for them in a heartbeat---- no. faster than that. without having to think. I live for them. I LOVE YOU, Emi and Steph!! :* kisses all around. :D they rock my socks like no other~! I'll miss the goodnite kisses, the laughs, the silliness, my first temp bookclubs over break, the cookies, the stupid jokes, and crazy cat fights... and of course the quarrels. I'll be back for those. haha. i will. ;)
**so long! uni is here! here! here! :D sO i guess i wont be updating this a whole lot anymore. o well. days will come.. days will go. but i'll be back. like always. ;)
Sweet dreams!!! night night. sleep tight. dotn forget the night light and don't let the bed bugs (& in the words of the dearest Daniel Kasey Estrada~! :)) "PARALYZE!"
toodly doos. :) happy trails!
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
i can't sleep
DUDE. I'm cold. My head hurts. My stomach is sore. And yet, I'm not tired. Not enough to sleep. I'm wide awake. UGH. Insomnia... why? why why why. blah.
I want to learn french. Yes, i do.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
IT'S FIVE IN THE MORNING. EYES WIDE OPEN... 0_0
<>
I want to learn french. Yes, i do.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
IT'S FIVE IN THE MORNING. EYES WIDE OPEN... 0_0
<
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Another Episode--and more serious stOOf
Goodness sakes... last night I spent 15, if not 20, minutes lying in pain-- So agonizing, so unbearable I almost passed out. I think i did, i'm not sure. The last thing I remember was the blur of red digital numbers flashing 12:43, a loud ring in my ear and blood rushing to my head. Next thing I knew, I awoke again having only been out 2 minutes with the clock reading 12:45.. still in pain. I couldn't move an inch.. couldn't flinch because i would only inflict a sharper pierce to my stomach. Gah. Just when i thought it wasn't going to come back... i've been pain free for two and some months since last and now.. blaaahh and JUST before the start of school. UGH.. well, that... sucks. :P just.. DEAL.
______
Initiative. Responsibility. Honor. vs Silence. Apathy. Decit. Which would you rather be? A recent incident concerning a friend troubles me much for now what defines a friendship is in question. Perhaps I am too harsh. too much of a critic? I know not. But it annoys me, or more so disappoints me to see so many flaws of another that i thought one did not possess. Yes, i understand that flaws are inevitable.. in fact it is a friend's flaws that one learns to accept, love and appreciate that makes a friend that much more adorable, that much more interesting, that much more human worthy to love--however there are categories and separation of acceptable flaws and unacceptable flaws unto which frequency also accounts.
What dissappoints me is not exactly the flaw itself, for humans often slip from time to time, but the redunance of the flaw, which outcome rather inquires one's values and morales.
(to be continued... i feel sick) :[
______
Initiative. Responsibility. Honor. vs Silence. Apathy. Decit. Which would you rather be? A recent incident concerning a friend troubles me much for now what defines a friendship is in question. Perhaps I am too harsh. too much of a critic? I know not. But it annoys me, or more so disappoints me to see so many flaws of another that i thought one did not possess. Yes, i understand that flaws are inevitable.. in fact it is a friend's flaws that one learns to accept, love and appreciate that makes a friend that much more adorable, that much more interesting, that much more human worthy to love--however there are categories and separation of acceptable flaws and unacceptable flaws unto which frequency also accounts.
What dissappoints me is not exactly the flaw itself, for humans often slip from time to time, but the redunance of the flaw, which outcome rather inquires one's values and morales.
(to be continued... i feel sick) :[
Friday, September 10, 2004
Something queer just happened...
I was awake at 6 this morning, again... no longer able to sleep. At any rate... after driving my little sisters to school (ages 9 and 13), I came home and while sipping on my ruby red juice went online to check if an earlier course for chem2ah was avaliable
(on the side note: did i tell you how frustrated i was last night because STUPID ppl didn't drop the earlier chem2ah course until AFTER my appointed time to register?? GRRR... so now i have to wait til open hours registration.. which is tomorrow... and hopefully the earlier chem2ah will still be open). Checked my mail... and got off, did chores.. as usual.
Then suddenly, out of the blue... the phone rings. As i hurridly cleansed my soappy hands and dried them on the towel with one more ring til the answering machine picks up... I thought it must be Mar bc supposedly I was going to help her study chem today around noon.
I made my hardy journey meandering around and jumping over my packed boxes, folders, books, papers.. etc ----and with a second left, I juggled the phone in my hands and picked it up just in time.
Unexpectedly, the person on the line turned out to be--instead of Mar-- my principle from high school: Ms. Duncan! :D
How strange?? I thought. Why would she, of all ppl, call me? Was I in trouble? Was she going to revoke my top ten award? Was there trouble from one of my previous instructors??
Or Did she simply called just to say hello? hahaha.. i doubt that very much.
It turns out that a writer from the Sacramento Bee (city newspaper) had asked Ms. Ducan if he can possibly do a story on a recent HS grad that is entering Uni at Davis... and the first person she thought of was me...>>>haha<<<
Ducan wanted to give the writer my contact number but wanted to ask for my permission first--
well... tough luck.
I, of all people, rather not be featured in a public city newspaper that practically everyone in the city reads. >< No, I think not. In this situation where the writer will more than likely ask me about the scholarships/awards I received over the years, family, and friendships--practically a bio of me "in the spotlight" ---ugh.. how... sassy? hahaha.
No. i dont want glory or apraisal nor do i want pity. I hate being attention. Thanx, but maybe in the next lifetime or rather when I REALLY do something great like find a cure for a cancer persay. haha. no thanx.
So i kindly told Ms. Duncan Thanx, but no thank you... and then referred her to my very good buddy Ms. Amanda Cianchetta.
Perhaps she might be interested in being featured in the SacBee. She'd be a great candidate: top ten senior as well, plenty of awards, going to Uni at Davis, community service, etc. You know... someone that fits the typical picture as a star student featured in the Bee that wouldn't mind having her bio in the Bee. She'd be awesome as much as she is in person! :)
_________
There you have it.
I'm ... amused! :D
(on the side note: did i tell you how frustrated i was last night because STUPID ppl didn't drop the earlier chem2ah course until AFTER my appointed time to register?? GRRR... so now i have to wait til open hours registration.. which is tomorrow... and hopefully the earlier chem2ah will still be open). Checked my mail... and got off, did chores.. as usual.
Then suddenly, out of the blue... the phone rings. As i hurridly cleansed my soappy hands and dried them on the towel with one more ring til the answering machine picks up... I thought it must be Mar bc supposedly I was going to help her study chem today around noon.
I made my hardy journey meandering around and jumping over my packed boxes, folders, books, papers.. etc ----and with a second left, I juggled the phone in my hands and picked it up just in time.
Unexpectedly, the person on the line turned out to be--instead of Mar-- my principle from high school: Ms. Duncan! :D
How strange?? I thought. Why would she, of all ppl, call me? Was I in trouble? Was she going to revoke my top ten award? Was there trouble from one of my previous instructors??
Or Did she simply called just to say hello? hahaha.. i doubt that very much.
It turns out that a writer from the Sacramento Bee (city newspaper) had asked Ms. Ducan if he can possibly do a story on a recent HS grad that is entering Uni at Davis... and the first person she thought of was me...>>>haha<<<
Ducan wanted to give the writer my contact number but wanted to ask for my permission first--
well... tough luck.
I, of all people, rather not be featured in a public city newspaper that practically everyone in the city reads. >< No, I think not. In this situation where the writer will more than likely ask me about the scholarships/awards I received over the years, family, and friendships--practically a bio of me "in the spotlight" ---ugh.. how... sassy? hahaha.
No. i dont want glory or apraisal nor do i want pity. I hate being attention. Thanx, but maybe in the next lifetime or rather when I REALLY do something great like find a cure for a cancer persay. haha. no thanx.
So i kindly told Ms. Duncan Thanx, but no thank you... and then referred her to my very good buddy Ms. Amanda Cianchetta.
Perhaps she might be interested in being featured in the SacBee. She'd be a great candidate: top ten senior as well, plenty of awards, going to Uni at Davis, community service, etc. You know... someone that fits the typical picture as a star student featured in the Bee that wouldn't mind having her bio in the Bee. She'd be awesome as much as she is in person! :)
_________
There you have it.
I'm ... amused! :D
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Schedule Change
So I changed almost my entire schedule for fall quarter:
https://sisweb.ucdavis.edu/owa_service/owa/bwskfshd.P_CrseSchd?start_date_in=10/04/2004
17 units instead of 15:
Honors Chem2a instead of regular (5)
Statistics 13 (4)
Sociology 1 (5)
World Religions (3)
grrrr....
https://sisweb.ucdavis.edu/owa_service/owa/bwskfshd.P_CrseSchd?start_date_in=10/04/2004
17 units instead of 15:
Honors Chem2a instead of regular (5)
Statistics 13 (4)
Sociology 1 (5)
World Religions (3)
grrrr....
Too funnie.
So I woke up really early this morning after 3 wee hours of sleep... and then
yonseinishida (9:33:10 AM): BLAH...my physics teacher, DR. Smith, posted a comment on the projector saying...PHYSICS IS PHUN!!
GAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! O man, i laughed so hard it made my tummy ache. how..... GROSS! LOL. TOO FUNNIE.
O how i loathe mr.smith from HS... the ap physics teacher who always say, "physics is PHUN!" goodness. how i DON'T miss that class. PheW! :D too funnie. :)
yonseinishida (9:33:10 AM): BLAH...my physics teacher, DR. Smith, posted a comment on the projector saying...PHYSICS IS PHUN!!
GAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! O man, i laughed so hard it made my tummy ache. how..... GROSS! LOL. TOO FUNNIE.
O how i loathe mr.smith from HS... the ap physics teacher who always say, "physics is PHUN!" goodness. how i DON'T miss that class. PheW! :D too funnie. :)
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Joy to the...... _____ (no, not world. moment)
I'm moving. I'm finally MOOVING.
Thrice had my plans for moving my boxes to davis been cancelled or delayed--this i will have no more. The date is set. I'm finally moving. Next week. Friday. Thank goodness.
Lately I've been yearning change and also another feeling i did not expect... something that's off the spectrum. Those that i wanted to see before i go,that i haven't seen, i do not anymore. Not that i wont miss them but because i feel as if the globe has fallen off altas' shoulders. Pitted in a downward spiral into nothingness, time is blacken with a tar so thick it has stopped.
I do not want a frozen dessert now--there is no time (take it any which way).
My heart is telling me to hit the dusty road... let frozen particles stir again... the water is set to boil. Development is on the way. Until traces can be assured again, I do not want to look back. Do you understand this strange sense within nonsense?
_________________________
random: corpus callosum. i like that term. the way it rolls off your tongue. dont you? :]
Thrice had my plans for moving my boxes to davis been cancelled or delayed--this i will have no more. The date is set. I'm finally moving. Next week. Friday. Thank goodness.
Lately I've been yearning change and also another feeling i did not expect... something that's off the spectrum. Those that i wanted to see before i go,that i haven't seen, i do not anymore. Not that i wont miss them but because i feel as if the globe has fallen off altas' shoulders. Pitted in a downward spiral into nothingness, time is blacken with a tar so thick it has stopped.
I do not want a frozen dessert now--there is no time (take it any which way).
My heart is telling me to hit the dusty road... let frozen particles stir again... the water is set to boil. Development is on the way. Until traces can be assured again, I do not want to look back. Do you understand this strange sense within nonsense?
_________________________
random: corpus callosum. i like that term. the way it rolls off your tongue. dont you? :]
Sunday, September 05, 2004
strength
My awakening is no more than a rebirth of an archtypial, hopefully better, form of the old self. I need more. I need to remember what it is like to have the mind, body, and soul be one... i need to remember how to make fleeting emotions stay. I need to remember what the meaning of commitment and honor means. To remember what it takes to suffice.
what I need to remember is the meaning to it all. So help me please.
I'm determined. Please don't let it slip away.
I WILL. I WILL. I WILL. THE WILL IS MINE.
I WILL.
I WILL.
I WILL.
THE WILL
IS
...
MINE.
believe in me.
what I need to remember is the meaning to it all. So help me please.
I'm determined. Please don't let it slip away.
I WILL. I WILL. I WILL. THE WILL IS MINE.
I WILL.
I WILL.
I WILL.
THE WILL
IS
...
MINE.
believe in me.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
No longer hostage
This morning, the north winds blew in for a timely visit. Something that has been forgotten is awaken again as I woke up to the smelt of green grass and the dawning sky.
It is said that where there is an end, there is a beginning; when something died in me a while past, nothing left was born. For the longest time, the vaccuum of existance haunted my soul while the mere crust of my outter physical being continued to be the only existance known to me. Hollowness is the most suffocating state and I've been that for too long.
Today, I will no longer be held hostage to my own master. I will no longer be a slave... a squandering mind. Today, I am my own pheonix--I can only hope my determination and effort will not go to waste. Thank you, whoever whatever thou may be... thank you for this awakening. :)
It is said that where there is an end, there is a beginning; when something died in me a while past, nothing left was born. For the longest time, the vaccuum of existance haunted my soul while the mere crust of my outter physical being continued to be the only existance known to me. Hollowness is the most suffocating state and I've been that for too long.
Today, I will no longer be held hostage to my own master. I will no longer be a slave... a squandering mind. Today, I am my own pheonix--I can only hope my determination and effort will not go to waste. Thank you, whoever whatever thou may be... thank you for this awakening. :)
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