"Sometimes you need to be alone. Sometimes, you just don’t want to be comforted. Because you need the chance to take it in. All that has been, all the pain left behind. The best cure is time on your own to analyze, time to pull yourself together again and time to see that all you ever wanted is now nothing but a fading memory. Time to let it go, and time to start again." -lovebot.
It doesnt seem likely that we will ever work out again and time has left me to conquer the dwelling upon our past and help me come to terms with what was and what is. He still haunts my dreams sometimes. Often times, it is of him coming back and us being friends again... and sometimes of him making small gestures to show that he still cares for me like he once did. At least they are no longer of him being mean or nonchalant toward me, which encompassed most of him-related dreams of mine just a few months back. I guess, I wish that whatever we had was real and the hope that he knows and feels that it will always be what it was but nevermore. That he wont deny that we had something special together. I dont' know what it is for him, and perhaps that's why it also cuts deeper: but I do know what it was for me... it was otherworldly. However twisted I became as my insecurities showed, however passionate and naive I was in letting an illusion of love made of his perhaps finicky blanket of affection for me, I loved him. I loved him even when I hated him, spited him. He was my escape from me-- of what is raw and undeniably vile in nature my musings may be. He was my escape and I loved him for that.
People dont leave because things are hard. they leave because it's no longer worth it.
love anything and your heart with be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to noone, not even an animal. wrap it carefully round hobbies and luxuries, avoid all entanglements. lock it up in a casket or coffin of your own selfishness. but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. it will not be broken, it will be unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. to love is to be vulnerable. --C.S. Lewis
speaking of love(of
which Who knows the
meaning;or how dreaming
becomes
if your heart’s mind)i
guess a grassblade
Thinks beyond or
around(as poems are
made)Our picking it. this
caress that laugh
both quickly signify
life’s only half(through
deep weather then
or none let’s feel
all)mind in mind flesh
In flesh succeeding disappear
--eecummings
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.
— Jack Keruoac
no one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. no one stays in love by chance, it is by work and noone falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.
I taught myself to always see the signs of falling in love. The special feeling. The way my heart sped up. All the emotions I had felt before.
I taught myself something new today.
That love can never be felt the way it once was. I didn’t know love until I found it for the first time and reminders of what love once felt like have no bearing in the love i’ll feel in the future.
I only need to keep my heart open, feet steady, and my mind open to the unknown because I have more to discover that can’t be found from retracing my steps.
— Boy Meets Love
