It's 3 am Sunday morning; the lonely traffic plays softly in the backdrop while perpetuating pillars of a fan cut quickly through pickets of a barred cage creating an eerie sonnet in the most imaginable ways.
Others may take it as a rattle in the ears that make them wince, but one thing is for sure: the phantom of insomnia has encased me... masker of a dark cape and I wonder when this horror film will end. Perhaps it'll tail off like a feather, light as a rock. Yes, light as a rock I say.
i'm not making much sense, i know...but has or does anyone else.
High school is over and I am delighted to see that I have received my all so seemingly Xeroxed piece of parchment, limp as a fish, as my certificate of completion-- a perfect example of an all too ambitious civilization. I've always wondered why I did the things I did to get to where I am and the answer has come to me. I've wasted four years trying to be someone I am not.
Perhaps you may think I am only going through a transition phase... perhaps very much between phases or maybe I've lingered a bit too long for it to be considered redeemable. I'd like to think it as another renaissance of an archetype for, too great for the greatness to be resembled... too familiar for it to become popular. Can u tell me what the difference is between a football field and a hockey field besides the obvious specific uses and appearances of it? Does it really matter? No. Actually it doesn't. I?m not quite sure if anything is for that matter.
Odd thing is, everything has gone so swell since high school has been over. I mean.. hey I got the scholarship I was looking forward to, I graduated, my parents are allowing me to move out, I got a new cell phone for goodness sakes, and I feel so relaxed at the moment .. Freer than I've ever felt in the past four years
but I'm all too cautious to know that this feeling wont last. Interestingly enough, I will be taking summer courses at city with two of my darling friends: Philip and Seung. I am actually looking forward to doing so and I feel so determined to suit myself in battle arms and brave the cold chafes of imperfection and countless nights of college life. I'm almost convinced that I don't want a break but I do.. I really do.
I left high school on a mildly bitter note. Looking back through the looking glass, high school was merely a speck of this never ending cycle of civil life that I find disgustingly structured but am all too afraid to take the road less traveled by well breaded women/men nowadays.
High school wasn't all that made out to be. not like the dreamful youth and carelessness that everyone said will be the most memorable times of your life. I think its all just a joke and a figure of speech.. I mean scientifically speaking, when you do get older, all u seem to remember is the reasonably latter years previous of.
At any rate, HS was an experience and life of its own. I hated the cliche image of snooty teenage grls and guys that think only materialistic things matter. and yes I'm making an incredibly horrible mistake here to stereotype most entities of Sheldon High but I will. I'm sure we all have emotions and we all have sense deep within ourselves to realize image is only fraud but boy have I been around it long enough to say it poisons the mind like no other substance. The immaturity level of infatuation is highly annoying and I am glad I wont have to deal with it on a daily basis anymore.
Talking to my dear friend Marielle... I've come to realize a lot of things and because of Marielle, I see I am not ashamed to speak of it as a sin...
I realized that I won't be missing a lot of ppl from Sheldon... there are only but few people i will dearly miss and these I will keep in dear contact with for years to come. These few are my savors from insanity's gaping mouth and u know who u are because i'm always willing or buggin u about problems or interests I have/we have.. i thank you soo much for ur advice and counsel.. I am forever in ur debt. on the ohter hand..
Dont get me wrong, I will and already do miss seeing many faces that I've become acquaint with in the past years of middle school and hs... and I will miss what they've done for me or haven't done for me. I am grateful for every last spark of memory... good and bad... shared by those who I have crossed paths in my lifetime thus far.. whether it be a second or a milisecond, i am very honored to encounter those and things I have come in contact with. I've learned much aobut myself and much about the world because of them.
There's a large percentage of me that just want to wipe my slate clean and start a life ... a new life in college... no strings attached... and I may just do it with the exception of family and my dear friends.
gah, too early for me to be thinking too much.. i think my energy is running on empty ... i should continue my contemplation some other day. best of wishes and luck.
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