breathe in slow and breathe in deep so that every femtometer of alveoli is saturated with air. hold it in until the fervor of your lungs make you feel as though every nerve of your body is shreding into spews and spools of threaded DNA... until your head and sinews rupture.. until you hear nothing but your heart beat and see nothing but a flash of light and then blackness.

i dont know if i'll eveer learn how to like someone. is it that i'm so caught up in the idea of wanting to be happy or feeling i have that capacity to make someone happy that i force myself to believe i have a chance? desires vitiates the application for ambition.. so much that it impedes all senses and purges logic. i learn the hard way.