Literally. Figuratively. And reading and writing in between lines.

I'm debating whether not to delete my last post, mostly because I didn't really mean it. I mean-- I meant it but I didn't mean it, mean it. I was a tad sensitive to the whole ordeal and had sort of preposterous expectations for my friend.

Not to make excuses to buy myself out of my own actions, but I suppose the main reason for my last post was mainly to vent. I felt like I was losing a friend and didn't want the circumstances of his moving away to affect our friendship...

Ugh, this is already beginning to sound like high school or rather like when I had to move to a different elementary school when I was in 4th grade: I simply got attached to the comfort of seeing my friends everyday that I didn't want to leave them and thought it was totally unfair where life has taken us. The same applies here.

I've seen the guy off a bijillion times, one too many. In fact, I didn't even want to go/stay at the last get-together we had with friends, which was supposed to be just for fun and NOT another goodbye for him but in which everyone treated it like one anyway. And at the end of the night, I didn't say goodbye because I didn't want it to be about goodbyes. Well, good going then because that was the last I saw of him; I loss my chances to say goodbye because I was stubborn. So yes, I was angry at myself. And I was really sad I didn't get my last chance to say goodbye. I really did want to see him off one last time... but I was too stubborn to admit my stubbornness and own fault when I wrote my last blog. Make sense?

Eh, it doesn't matter if I'm being coherent, as long as I know what my rationale was for writing what I wrote. I would apologize to my audience and/or to my friend (if anyone actually reads this piece of crap), but I will refrain from doing so because ultimately, this blog isn't for anyone but myself. This blog is my sanctuary, my dumping ground for important/unimportant ideas, thoughts, summations... things that I just don't have enough room in my head to keep track of... a place where insanity and sanity means everything and nothing at all... and where entries are sometimes literal, sometimes figurative, and sometimes meant to be read in between lines.

So in conclusion to my debate, the answer is no. I will not delete my last post. It is what it is for reasons beside the literary and figurative speech.

Good night.