estatic!

love love love love love!

An inspiring professor I had in high school once said, "if you hate it enough, you'll change it."

Well, change is in the air because I am taking one step at a time to ensure myself a natural high that have been missing from my life way too much for way too long.

I am committing myself to fencing again, but this time with my left- instead of my right-hand. I have dubbed myself noob status and am determined to work my way from bottom up all over again. I'm sure there will be a lot of hurdles to jump and kinks to smooth out; many o' obstacles in the way, but I hope my patience will pay off in the end. I don't care if I ever compete again (which is ideal and my ultimate goal); all I want is just to be able to fence again. And today is Day 1 of change. There are no words that can clearly express and surmise how awesome it feels to be back in the salle again and NOT be the spectator. Although I haven't gained much from tonight and how ever hard it was to watch the advance fencers do their footwork/bladework and free fencing, wishing I was right along side them while standing with the noobs, I am not going to give up. I'll be there again eventually; but for now, I am a noob. Once, twice, and thrice over.

I'm psyched!! :)

P.S. You know, I've always wondered why all the guys I've dated in the past were lefties--ironic and out of coincidence of course. And although none remains as my "other half" today, it seems lefty-ness will never fail to be any less notable in my life for I am finally going to be a lefty myself. Does that make me whole? hahah... how peculiar! Maybe that just means I'm destined to be a lone star. Maybe I'm just really not cut out for relationships. I was never gf material, probably never will be (I know, it really doesnt have anything to do with anything.. but oh the irony kind of tickles my fancy. haha) Cheerios! :D