not so morbid. honest.

two quick things:

1. i'm disheartened. i woke up today from a dream that reenacted one of the exact moments i knew i should have cut myself loose-- the moment i knew i was in it too deep and the moment i knew he wasnt and never will be. i'm over it. i really really am. but it still stings like a bitch deep down inside apparently.

2. after last weekend's illness, having laid there alone in the dark with my thoughts to myself, i am glad to say i really have no regrets in life. i really am prepared to die.. at least i believe i am intellectually and emotionally ready since i didn't fear it when death crept through almost every fiber of my being that night. there is nothing in this world i long to stay and fight longer for--however morbid that may sound. i have loved and cared truly and deeply in the many levels of love there is (naively so with family/friends/significant others even if the love was/is unrequited). i have paid my dues in my half of relationships and share of the world having tried my best in situations genuinely. i am ready to let go, whenever the moment may come.
people really do die alone and there is nothing in the world to stop the fact.

fly high. :)