Be enacted by the whole of United States of America that same sex marriage should be allowed in all states of the nation. Neither one person nor group can define love, and yet it is under the constitution that marriage is defined as bondage between a man and a woman—I do not agree.
Marriage is simply a bond and recognition of love between two persons whether they are of male and female or that of the same sex. It is immorally just to pilfer an emotion as pure and innocent as love from someone. In addition, it is a crime against nature to see to it those in love cannot share such a sacred and harmonious celebration under oath and be respected as married couples among other entities of this state.
Indeed, marriage recognition can simply be gifted sentimentally and not documentarily, however those with sentimental marriages can loose out on the privileges given to those with documented marriages. The United States has always been an advocate for the eradication of discriminatory acts and yet gay couples have endured countless discrimination against them for over the past years of American history. Because same sex couples cannot be legally recognized as married couples by the government, they are not entitled to living wills, advance directives, or any shares that married couples of opposing sexes are entitled to when disaster strikes. The United States of America should ensure full enact privileges to everyone, including same sex couples, for all men and women are created equally—I applaud the four Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Judges for making the right decision to recognized same sex marriages in the roots of equality and justice.
Moreover, I am ashamed of those of religious decent who are so willingly and vehemently opposed to same sex marriage. Indeed, it may be that others are practicing an act considered immoral against one’s religion, but it serves no right to abandon and forcefully imprint these beliefs among those that do not follow one’s religion.
The United States of America is edified upon virtual freedoms and liberties, one of which is the freedom of religion. If the United States of America does not recognize same sex marriage because of the understated religious beliefs then is it not a violation of the fundamental morals and values this nation was founded on? And if it is so that the opposing views upon gay marriages are not induced because of religious beliefs, then what is it that is bothersome to those opposing gay marriages?
Perhaps one should consider the 50% divorce rate in this country verses some same sex relationships that have been kept steady for thirty some years and beyond. Why is humanity today so ignorantly blind?
This is not an issue of religion, nor is it an issue of power. It is simply an issue of fundamental rights and values a person has—the equality of humans to be loved and respected.
Marriages should be recognized as a bondage of love between two persons. Love is a wondrous thing and we have no right to bar a feeling as eccentric and good as love. Ban intolerance for gay marriages and support full and equal rights of all citizens to marriages of all kinds!
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
stranger to the world
its the first day of STAR testing and whoo hoo, snr activities. THANK GOODNESS we were saved by AP testing info. all in all.. the assembly for ROCK THE VOTE was frankly lame. so after we filled out our bubble sheet for ap tests, i left to wander once again. grabbed some lunch for mickey d's in which i haven't had for a LONNNGG time and once again found myself at countryside park... on the swings, with a book and a sketch pad. although i couldn't concentrate on reading, it was nice .. i swung. ;)
then i met these two adorable little grls... ages 1 and 3 with their auntie. being the stranger i am, i helped them take some pictures and oddly, babysat a while.. haha. and i was a TOTAL stranger! :)
anyhoo.. then i left them alone and wandered the park a bit... no one was there except a few guys on the courts, shooting hoops... tall, big, admirable for their wit and athleticism. Then i befriended another stranger... he was much older than me.. maybe about 30? 40? ... i didnt' get his name but he was very sincere to ask me how i was and such things.
the sky grew dark but i still persist to stay and i did... and while sitting or being ther ethe whole time at countryside, I noticed a shadow on the far side of the park... away from me. much like me, he looked as if he was in highschool... mexican maybe? packpack, book, and a sketchbook with headphones, he sat. curiosity of one another intrigued us as we looked at each other in the far distance... and a sudden welcomeness and filfillment overrid me and i would assume so for him too. we both smiled at each other and waved... both understanding what was needed to be done.. what we both felt like...
and in that moment, i felt i belonged as a stranger to the world.. as he does too. without a single word of exchange, we both knew wat the other was feeling and thinking.. and we respected that silence as we continued our day at the park. i hope i'll see him again. or someone like him when i return to the park in latter days i have left in sacramento.
it was a beautiful moment.
then i met these two adorable little grls... ages 1 and 3 with their auntie. being the stranger i am, i helped them take some pictures and oddly, babysat a while.. haha. and i was a TOTAL stranger! :)
anyhoo.. then i left them alone and wandered the park a bit... no one was there except a few guys on the courts, shooting hoops... tall, big, admirable for their wit and athleticism. Then i befriended another stranger... he was much older than me.. maybe about 30? 40? ... i didnt' get his name but he was very sincere to ask me how i was and such things.
the sky grew dark but i still persist to stay and i did... and while sitting or being ther ethe whole time at countryside, I noticed a shadow on the far side of the park... away from me. much like me, he looked as if he was in highschool... mexican maybe? packpack, book, and a sketchbook with headphones, he sat. curiosity of one another intrigued us as we looked at each other in the far distance... and a sudden welcomeness and filfillment overrid me and i would assume so for him too. we both smiled at each other and waved... both understanding what was needed to be done.. what we both felt like...
and in that moment, i felt i belonged as a stranger to the world.. as he does too. without a single word of exchange, we both knew wat the other was feeling and thinking.. and we respected that silence as we continued our day at the park. i hope i'll see him again. or someone like him when i return to the park in latter days i have left in sacramento.
it was a beautiful moment.
Sunday, April 04, 2004
so life is going on downhill with rare one-minute to (at most) half-a-day highs. college is without a doubt something that has been on my mind a lot only because everyone keeps talking about it at school and i can't seem to turn my ears and not listen. wouldn't it be wonderful if our ears worked somewhat like our eyes. an organ in which we have total control over when we want them to function or not? gahh...
everyone keeps asking me where i want to go for college.. and i think, why does it matter? first off, i dont care anymore.. because i'm forced to go to whatever college my parents, uncles, and aunts tell me to, so what is the use of dreaming? secondly, i just dont see a future for me anymore. it just isn't fitting. i can't see it at all. I dont know what life is going to be like a minute from now so how the hell am i suppose to envision life a year or a month or years from now? I'm living life at large and I don't see the point in it anymore. seriously.......... dont worry, i haven't fell into such depths of doldrums and malice that i'd do something stupid... i just dont' see a future. i dont. and stop asking me woiuld ya?
it's not that big of a deal.
college isn't going to teach the life skills i need.. college is not going to be anything but a facade myth society has pretty much tatooed in the minds of our youth; if yuou dont go college, u'll become a useless bum in the streets. let me tell you this, these people living in the streets, at least the majority of them, know things we never will. they have such wisdom we will never embody. EVER. life is precious to them, they have nothing but life to live... have nothing but has everything they need. i want to know. i want to feel. i want to experience.
everyone keeps asking me where i want to go for college.. and i think, why does it matter? first off, i dont care anymore.. because i'm forced to go to whatever college my parents, uncles, and aunts tell me to, so what is the use of dreaming? secondly, i just dont see a future for me anymore. it just isn't fitting. i can't see it at all. I dont know what life is going to be like a minute from now so how the hell am i suppose to envision life a year or a month or years from now? I'm living life at large and I don't see the point in it anymore. seriously.......... dont worry, i haven't fell into such depths of doldrums and malice that i'd do something stupid... i just dont' see a future. i dont. and stop asking me woiuld ya?
it's not that big of a deal.
college isn't going to teach the life skills i need.. college is not going to be anything but a facade myth society has pretty much tatooed in the minds of our youth; if yuou dont go college, u'll become a useless bum in the streets. let me tell you this, these people living in the streets, at least the majority of them, know things we never will. they have such wisdom we will never embody. EVER. life is precious to them, they have nothing but life to live... have nothing but has everything they need. i want to know. i want to feel. i want to experience.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Saturday, March 20, 2004
and so i'm beginning to see my pattern of randomness.. and yet in my insanity, i see sense therefore i'm still somewhat okay... from now on.. i'm going to post my away msg because they're always what keeps me thinking... an obscured truth or problem i've been avoiding. today's:
chafe by imperfection.. and yet i stand... but limp.. very limp.
balance?
no.
gaaahhh.................
leave a msg and i'll IM back.. maybe, if u're worth it :]?
chafe by imperfection.. and yet i stand... but limp.. very limp.
balance?
no.
gaaahhh.................
leave a msg and i'll IM back.. maybe, if u're worth it :]?
Thursday, March 18, 2004
i'm back again.. and I don't quite know why. I need to shpeal.. but I can't seem to come to terms with what I want to say.. or what i need to say. Odd isn't it? Life, i mean.
Gah. I dont want to go into a depression stage again.. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. Can I help it?
So much to do in so little time.. i can't write down everything i feel because maybe i really dont feel. I am once again being detached from myself... and I can't seem to make my statements clear. GAAHH.. NVM
MAYBE LATER.. MAYBE LATER
Gah. I dont want to go into a depression stage again.. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. Can I help it?
So much to do in so little time.. i can't write down everything i feel because maybe i really dont feel. I am once again being detached from myself... and I can't seem to make my statements clear. GAAHH.. NVM
MAYBE LATER.. MAYBE LATER
Friday, February 13, 2004
and so here i am again... it's like this blog is a fetish that just seems to be important only when i truely need sanity. ironic... contradictive.. but anything goes in this banter world that never makes any sense anyway. the odd thing is, i think its hilarious.. fucked up that i go on and ramble about my life when noone reallie reads about it anyway. who cares right? i dont want pity or glory, if you all are wondering. just a blog to keep myself sane, to get my thoughts straight. and you might ask, then why post it online for everyone to see and hear? why not keep it at privacy for my own viewing pleasure?
and i answer... simply because i feel like it. i dont want people asking me what's up again and again and having to tell the same damn old story again and again... either that or i dont wanna lie and say everything is fine and dandy. life is not always fine and dandy though I'd like to say it's AWSOME... but again, i'd be a damned liar.
so anyway.. if u've been keeping up with my older blog, which i doubt since noone reads my crap or gives a care, one would know the angelic new year was a miserable for me, at least for 2 or 3 weeks til chinese new years on the 22nd of january. Just wen i thought everything was AWSOME.. the life i wanted to live.. and at that moment in time.. i was actually HAPPY... everything seemed to come crashing down come feburary 7th.
besides being sick with a minor flu/cold, i didn't expect everything to run me over the ridge at once. It was like.. whoa! what the f*? Suppose all my energy and happiness ran out? i started to feel like crap. I was letting myself lag behind again... because i felt icky. Great. That whole week was unrealistic and slow because i my grandma from la was in the hospital.. so i was worried about her, knowing she had pneoumia AND that her tumor on her tongue is malignant and no longer a tumor. She has cancer. So that got me thinking... and depressed.
School is no help neither. Science olympiad's competition is coming up in 2 or 3 weeks.. and i feel i've let the team down. I dropped out of the robot ramble event, simply because i haven't been current and cooperating with my partners... just a lot of stuff caught me off track.. ya knoe? anyhoo. i felt like a failure sometimes.. but then again.. with everything going, i feel that my priorities have changed.. and changed for somewhat the better. SO simply is a small priority for me rite now and i dont see the wrong in it, though i do feel guilt... and mr smith is disappointed in me. the vibe is tacit. he didn't say it, but i knoe it. kosney is disappointed too, i think, or rather i know. But i can't help it! I DONT KNOw what the hell i'm suppose to do.
and my 18th birthday. WHAT THE HECK.. i even forgot myself! Practically everyone at school forgot.. only a few that i never thought would've remembered... REMEMBERED and wished me a happy bday. Marielle the friday before because it was her bday on the 6th (and i thank you!), DAVID TURNER? on the day after we got bak from the weekend (thanx for the card! it REALLY cheered me up!), and..... a few other ppl who said happie bday after finding out from david. Six at the most. WHICH IS TOTALLY FIne because i wasn't expectiing nething. so thanx :) really. It was practically the only highlight of my life as of then and still even now. HS friends who remembered was minimal.. but what made up for everyone who didn't remember that i thought would have was the surprises from my college buddies: Linh was 2 days ahead of me who sent me a lovely gift and card (I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!), Joshie who also turned 18th the day after me (HAPPY 18TH! but U'RE STILL A YOUNG-N! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA), and Thomas (I LOVE YOU! thanx for the present!). I felt reallie happy knowing that those i truely miss are thinking about me too. my friends are AWSOME!
So back to the bad news:
My brother, who was minorly sick before, got worse. Didn't know what was up til he'd gone into the ER.. blood tests, urine test, CAT scans, what not... x rays. WOW. he was so sick he couldnt get outta bed. When that happened, I freaked out. Not because he was reallie sick, well i mean that too but i knew he eventually'd be okay, but because i had tons to do for school in addition to caring for my younger sisters. That night, i had the worse night cramps and my stomach ulcers were acting up again.. for awhile back, i thought they were gone. BLAAAHHH.
Life turned miserable as i'm trying to keep up emotionally and physically. School's a drag. i dont even want to be there. I didnt' know how to act at school. Everything in my life was just so f* up that talking about it seemed dumb and selfish but keeping it to myself was hard because someone will eventually ask me what the hell was up and i'd have to lie and say everyhting was okay. hahaha
and i answer... simply because i feel like it. i dont want people asking me what's up again and again and having to tell the same damn old story again and again... either that or i dont wanna lie and say everything is fine and dandy. life is not always fine and dandy though I'd like to say it's AWSOME... but again, i'd be a damned liar.
so anyway.. if u've been keeping up with my older blog, which i doubt since noone reads my crap or gives a care, one would know the angelic new year was a miserable for me, at least for 2 or 3 weeks til chinese new years on the 22nd of january. Just wen i thought everything was AWSOME.. the life i wanted to live.. and at that moment in time.. i was actually HAPPY... everything seemed to come crashing down come feburary 7th.
besides being sick with a minor flu/cold, i didn't expect everything to run me over the ridge at once. It was like.. whoa! what the f*? Suppose all my energy and happiness ran out? i started to feel like crap. I was letting myself lag behind again... because i felt icky. Great. That whole week was unrealistic and slow because i my grandma from la was in the hospital.. so i was worried about her, knowing she had pneoumia AND that her tumor on her tongue is malignant and no longer a tumor. She has cancer. So that got me thinking... and depressed.
School is no help neither. Science olympiad's competition is coming up in 2 or 3 weeks.. and i feel i've let the team down. I dropped out of the robot ramble event, simply because i haven't been current and cooperating with my partners... just a lot of stuff caught me off track.. ya knoe? anyhoo. i felt like a failure sometimes.. but then again.. with everything going, i feel that my priorities have changed.. and changed for somewhat the better. SO simply is a small priority for me rite now and i dont see the wrong in it, though i do feel guilt... and mr smith is disappointed in me. the vibe is tacit. he didn't say it, but i knoe it. kosney is disappointed too, i think, or rather i know. But i can't help it! I DONT KNOw what the hell i'm suppose to do.
and my 18th birthday. WHAT THE HECK.. i even forgot myself! Practically everyone at school forgot.. only a few that i never thought would've remembered... REMEMBERED and wished me a happy bday. Marielle the friday before because it was her bday on the 6th (and i thank you!), DAVID TURNER? on the day after we got bak from the weekend (thanx for the card! it REALLY cheered me up!), and..... a few other ppl who said happie bday after finding out from david. Six at the most. WHICH IS TOTALLY FIne because i wasn't expectiing nething. so thanx :) really. It was practically the only highlight of my life as of then and still even now. HS friends who remembered was minimal.. but what made up for everyone who didn't remember that i thought would have was the surprises from my college buddies: Linh was 2 days ahead of me who sent me a lovely gift and card (I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!), Joshie who also turned 18th the day after me (HAPPY 18TH! but U'RE STILL A YOUNG-N! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA), and Thomas (I LOVE YOU! thanx for the present!). I felt reallie happy knowing that those i truely miss are thinking about me too. my friends are AWSOME!
So back to the bad news:
My brother, who was minorly sick before, got worse. Didn't know what was up til he'd gone into the ER.. blood tests, urine test, CAT scans, what not... x rays. WOW. he was so sick he couldnt get outta bed. When that happened, I freaked out. Not because he was reallie sick, well i mean that too but i knew he eventually'd be okay, but because i had tons to do for school in addition to caring for my younger sisters. That night, i had the worse night cramps and my stomach ulcers were acting up again.. for awhile back, i thought they were gone. BLAAAHHH.
Life turned miserable as i'm trying to keep up emotionally and physically. School's a drag. i dont even want to be there. I didnt' know how to act at school. Everything in my life was just so f* up that talking about it seemed dumb and selfish but keeping it to myself was hard because someone will eventually ask me what the hell was up and i'd have to lie and say everyhting was okay. hahaha
Monday, January 26, 2004
INCUBUS ROCKS! :) even tho they're stuck in my head. >.<
Make Yourself- Incubus
If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow.
If I hadn't assembled myself, I'dve fallen apart by now.
If I hadn't made me, I'd be more inclined to bow
Powers that be would have swallowed me up, but that's more than I can allow.
If you let them make you, they'll make you papier-mache.
At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes then you crumble and blow away.
If you let them fuck you, there will be no foreplay.
But rest assured, they'll screw you complete 'til your ass is blue and grey.
You should make amends with you.
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live, why not try and Make Yourself?
If I hadn't made me, I'dve fallen apart by now.
I won't let 'em make me, it's more than I can allow.
So when I make me, I won't be papier-maché.
And if I fuck me... I'll fuck me in my own way.
You should make amends with you.
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live, why not try and Make Yourself?
Make yourself.
Warning- Incubus
Bat your eyes girl
Be otherworldly
Count your blessings
Seduce a stranger
What's so wrong with
Being happy
Kudos to those who
See through sickness
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
I suggest we
Learn to love ourselves before it's
Made illegal
When will we learn?
When will we change?
Just in time to
See it all fall down
Those left standing...will make millions
Writing books on the way it should have been
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
Floating in this
Cosmic jacuzzi
We are like frogs oblivious
To the water
Starting to boil
No one flinches
We all float face down
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
Make Yourself- Incubus
If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow.
If I hadn't assembled myself, I'dve fallen apart by now.
If I hadn't made me, I'd be more inclined to bow
Powers that be would have swallowed me up, but that's more than I can allow.
If you let them make you, they'll make you papier-mache.
At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes then you crumble and blow away.
If you let them fuck you, there will be no foreplay.
But rest assured, they'll screw you complete 'til your ass is blue and grey.
You should make amends with you.
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live, why not try and Make Yourself?
If I hadn't made me, I'dve fallen apart by now.
I won't let 'em make me, it's more than I can allow.
So when I make me, I won't be papier-maché.
And if I fuck me... I'll fuck me in my own way.
You should make amends with you.
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live, why not try and Make Yourself?
Make yourself.
Warning- Incubus
Bat your eyes girl
Be otherworldly
Count your blessings
Seduce a stranger
What's so wrong with
Being happy
Kudos to those who
See through sickness
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
I suggest we
Learn to love ourselves before it's
Made illegal
When will we learn?
When will we change?
Just in time to
See it all fall down
Those left standing...will make millions
Writing books on the way it should have been
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
Floating in this
Cosmic jacuzzi
We are like frogs oblivious
To the water
Starting to boil
No one flinches
We all float face down
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
It's like a bing, bam and a boom! There are sOo many GREAT people crossing paths with me lately.
So I met this incredibly intriguing person today during 4th period ROP graphics. He's an AMAZING sacramento artist.. graduate of Sheldon's class of 2001. Name's David Garibaldi. Awsome. just AWSOME! You should go check out his artwork on www.garibaldiarts.com and i'm sure you'll enjoy it too! :)
I'm glad i had the chance to talk to him one on one. You learn so much about yourself, life, and the other person by just talking. I mean, this guy is amazing. David's only 21 yrs old... already has his own company where he does freelance art work for those that inquire his artistic ability. And he just BOUGHT A HOUSE! That's gotta be an attention getter... right? haha. He gets his inspiration from music and does live shows where he paints while listening to live musical performances.
the paintbrush is only an extension of his creative mind as images simply flow and fall into place on the white canvas. I can't imagine how confident you'll have to be to do something like that. Makes me think twice about how i should live my life... ya know what i mean? This guy has turned his passion into a successful career. His ardor for the visual arts is so overwhelming, he has tainted me with new inspiration to pursue in mine. I can just feel the splash of viscous paint giving life to a blank canvas.
I need to wake up from dormancy.. no.. more like my stupor and SMELL the coffee. Live again. I need to experience another individual renaissance once again so dreams can come reality. No holding back. No more indecisiveness.. or so be it that i LEARN to be decisive. Goodness, help me to be strong, please? :)
HAVE FAITH IN WHATEVER YOU CHERISH! ;)
Make yourself- Incubus.
So I met this incredibly intriguing person today during 4th period ROP graphics. He's an AMAZING sacramento artist.. graduate of Sheldon's class of 2001. Name's David Garibaldi. Awsome. just AWSOME! You should go check out his artwork on www.garibaldiarts.com and i'm sure you'll enjoy it too! :)
I'm glad i had the chance to talk to him one on one. You learn so much about yourself, life, and the other person by just talking. I mean, this guy is amazing. David's only 21 yrs old... already has his own company where he does freelance art work for those that inquire his artistic ability. And he just BOUGHT A HOUSE! That's gotta be an attention getter... right? haha. He gets his inspiration from music and does live shows where he paints while listening to live musical performances.
the paintbrush is only an extension of his creative mind as images simply flow and fall into place on the white canvas. I can't imagine how confident you'll have to be to do something like that. Makes me think twice about how i should live my life... ya know what i mean? This guy has turned his passion into a successful career. His ardor for the visual arts is so overwhelming, he has tainted me with new inspiration to pursue in mine. I can just feel the splash of viscous paint giving life to a blank canvas.
I need to wake up from dormancy.. no.. more like my stupor and SMELL the coffee. Live again. I need to experience another individual renaissance once again so dreams can come reality. No holding back. No more indecisiveness.. or so be it that i LEARN to be decisive. Goodness, help me to be strong, please? :)
HAVE FAITH IN WHATEVER YOU CHERISH! ;)
Make yourself- Incubus.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Continuing my lil blurb about the new term:
I enrolled in a CRC English writing class on Saturdays thinking i'll just get it over with so i dont have to take Subject A.. and i ended up with the COOLEST teacher on the planet of sheldon's college.. haahaha. as far as I know, Sherie Coelho has made her mark in my books. Thus far her attitude is one of a kind. She's optimistic, funny... CRAZY.. but positive. She reminded me of me back in the days when I felt free and happy: When all terrains were mine... nothing to hold me back. My reign of freedom. SANITY and INSANITY all in one. Not a care in the world. Free at lass.. free at last. ;) hehehe. Theatrical and idealistic... but will do. I'M SO EXCITED but soo afraid too!
She seems awsome.. and there's no doubt in my mind she wont be.. but she seems soo hard!
I haven't written in a LONG while.. and i need to get back in touch with my linguistic side. I feel incompetent and ignorant.... frankly i feel dumb like an imbicile. I can't write for anything... and i've lost my sense of style along my gothic walk of misery. I hope it wont be long before i find myself again.... both in state of mind, state of art, and state of wisdom, and state of writing.
Goodness, help me pleaseeeee! gaah.. before I am sentence to hang in the gallows.
We had our first essay exam the first day of class (this past Saturday) and i'm pretty sure i performed rather bad. I kept erasing and erasing. NOTHING came to me. NOTHING. The prompt was to write about difficult material you had learned at school and describe why it was so hard to comprehend and what you'd do different to change your situation. HA. HA. HA? Yeah.
It wasn't good. I restarted my paper twice... and ended up with only a page front and back. Other people had mounds of paper.... goodness. I feel like i'm slipping so far behind! Not to mention, my paper is full of smudge marks from bad erasing. Stupid eraser. GAAAH.
I still need to get my books. $85 BUCKS all together... and that's only if i'm lucky there'll still be used books. :(
I'm wonder if i should drop the class. I don't want to... but if high school gets too much, I should. SHOULD I? I dont know. :P I dont know if i can keep it up. Senior project, too! :/ So much to do in so little time. I NEED to get my act together so badly this term. It's crucial.
I've decided to gather my belongings and throw out all the negativity, and add in a lot of positivity like i used to. :) Hopefully I'll keep that promise to myself. Way to go, Amy! HAHAHAHA. I'm a dork.
What should i do for my first AP Art concentration piece? HUMMMMM... something to think about.
Enough random prattling for now, dear reader. I bid you goodnight and farewell. Until next time... STAY SANE! or Insane, rather.
Only those who are insane will say they are sane. ;)
I enrolled in a CRC English writing class on Saturdays thinking i'll just get it over with so i dont have to take Subject A.. and i ended up with the COOLEST teacher on the planet of sheldon's college.. haahaha. as far as I know, Sherie Coelho has made her mark in my books. Thus far her attitude is one of a kind. She's optimistic, funny... CRAZY.. but positive. She reminded me of me back in the days when I felt free and happy: When all terrains were mine... nothing to hold me back. My reign of freedom. SANITY and INSANITY all in one. Not a care in the world. Free at lass.. free at last. ;) hehehe. Theatrical and idealistic... but will do. I'M SO EXCITED but soo afraid too!
She seems awsome.. and there's no doubt in my mind she wont be.. but she seems soo hard!
I haven't written in a LONG while.. and i need to get back in touch with my linguistic side. I feel incompetent and ignorant.... frankly i feel dumb like an imbicile. I can't write for anything... and i've lost my sense of style along my gothic walk of misery. I hope it wont be long before i find myself again.... both in state of mind, state of art, and state of wisdom, and state of writing.
Goodness, help me pleaseeeee! gaah.. before I am sentence to hang in the gallows.
We had our first essay exam the first day of class (this past Saturday) and i'm pretty sure i performed rather bad. I kept erasing and erasing. NOTHING came to me. NOTHING. The prompt was to write about difficult material you had learned at school and describe why it was so hard to comprehend and what you'd do different to change your situation. HA. HA. HA? Yeah.
It wasn't good. I restarted my paper twice... and ended up with only a page front and back. Other people had mounds of paper.... goodness. I feel like i'm slipping so far behind! Not to mention, my paper is full of smudge marks from bad erasing. Stupid eraser. GAAAH.
I still need to get my books. $85 BUCKS all together... and that's only if i'm lucky there'll still be used books. :(
I'm wonder if i should drop the class. I don't want to... but if high school gets too much, I should. SHOULD I? I dont know. :P I dont know if i can keep it up. Senior project, too! :/ So much to do in so little time. I NEED to get my act together so badly this term. It's crucial.
I've decided to gather my belongings and throw out all the negativity, and add in a lot of positivity like i used to. :) Hopefully I'll keep that promise to myself. Way to go, Amy! HAHAHAHA. I'm a dork.
What should i do for my first AP Art concentration piece? HUMMMMM... something to think about.
Enough random prattling for now, dear reader. I bid you goodnight and farewell. Until next time... STAY SANE! or Insane, rather.
Only those who are insane will say they are sane. ;)
It's been awhile since I've updated this. Much has happened and most is irrelevant history, but the few things needed to be mention:
Happy belated angelic and lunar new year!! :)
Chinese New Year eve was awsome. Got to see dad's side of the family and had a wonderful dinner... SOO much good food my mommie cooked. ;) haha. gawd... mouth is watery just thinking bout it.. LOL. Anyhoo.
Thursday, Chinese New Year was also great... actually was one of my BEST days in this lifetime thus far. I must say I regret being distant from everyone lately and I miss a lot of people. I had the opportunity to call up my mom's side of the family in LA to wish them a Happy chinese new yrs, which was nice. I haven't seen or talked to them for quite some time. A year? two? Who knows. But i miss them... A LOT. I want to visit them so badly. Never was reallie close to them but now that i've done some reflection, I know i'm missing out. Grandpa, Grandma.. Aunties and Uncles.. they might not be there one day... and i dont want to live life knowing i didn't take initiative to learn to love and know them like how i know and love my dad's side of the family who i see almost everyday. YA KNOE what i mean?
*sigh*
But anyhoo.. thank you Uncle Alex for all the advice you gave me about boys and school. lol. I'm glad you're keeping me in track. That's your job! ;) hehe. I appreciate it.
It came to me as a surprise how easily words came out of my mouth. We talked as if we never lost correspondence. :) Blood is thicker than water... and THAT, my friend, will NEVER change.
and JIMMY! where are you? THREE FRIGGEN YEARS HARE!!!! I miss you soooooo much! :( When are you ever going to come visit us, you Canadian. haha. I LOVE YOU! I'm so glad we talked on the phone. It seemed as if you never left! :) I can't wait til the day we meet again... and maybe then we'll get the chance to party like we're young again.. hahaha. YOU OLD MAN! Krikly skinnn!! eewwwww.. LOL. You better write me soon so I know where to send emails to. YOU DORK. ;) I'm not so much a turtle anymore, if you know what i mean. Who's the slow poke now? :)
*sigh* I LOVE my friends and i love my family. I dont' want to miss out anymore and i'm sorry if i have. Please dont leave me.
On another note... the new term is GREAT! i'm so relieved I don't have ap physics anymore. BLASTED class. Was bloody hell if you asked me. GAAH... i can finally breathe some. :) Econ is over with.. another agonizing class i had first term.
New faces.. new classes.. new instructors. What more can come of it? Mrs. Clarkson for English might only be the thing that's keeping me from jumping off the walls. Pity I dont have Mrs. Blomquist again, but i'll give Clarkson time. Doesn't seem too bad. In fact, she might even be okay. ;) Mrs. O'Bear for Molecular Biotech... congratulations on the baby! and as for Mrs. Kosney too!!! I'm so happy and excited for both! :D Anatomy and Physio with Aguilar will be quite interesting. Feels like 4th period Forensics with her all over again. She's great! And last but not least, beloved Mrs. George for ROP graphics. YOU'RE AWSOME! :)
must post more later.. before i loose everything.
Happy belated angelic and lunar new year!! :)
Chinese New Year eve was awsome. Got to see dad's side of the family and had a wonderful dinner... SOO much good food my mommie cooked. ;) haha. gawd... mouth is watery just thinking bout it.. LOL. Anyhoo.
Thursday, Chinese New Year was also great... actually was one of my BEST days in this lifetime thus far. I must say I regret being distant from everyone lately and I miss a lot of people. I had the opportunity to call up my mom's side of the family in LA to wish them a Happy chinese new yrs, which was nice. I haven't seen or talked to them for quite some time. A year? two? Who knows. But i miss them... A LOT. I want to visit them so badly. Never was reallie close to them but now that i've done some reflection, I know i'm missing out. Grandpa, Grandma.. Aunties and Uncles.. they might not be there one day... and i dont want to live life knowing i didn't take initiative to learn to love and know them like how i know and love my dad's side of the family who i see almost everyday. YA KNOE what i mean?
*sigh*
But anyhoo.. thank you Uncle Alex for all the advice you gave me about boys and school. lol. I'm glad you're keeping me in track. That's your job! ;) hehe. I appreciate it.
It came to me as a surprise how easily words came out of my mouth. We talked as if we never lost correspondence. :) Blood is thicker than water... and THAT, my friend, will NEVER change.
and JIMMY! where are you? THREE FRIGGEN YEARS HARE!!!! I miss you soooooo much! :( When are you ever going to come visit us, you Canadian. haha. I LOVE YOU! I'm so glad we talked on the phone. It seemed as if you never left! :) I can't wait til the day we meet again... and maybe then we'll get the chance to party like we're young again.. hahaha. YOU OLD MAN! Krikly skinnn!! eewwwww.. LOL. You better write me soon so I know where to send emails to. YOU DORK. ;) I'm not so much a turtle anymore, if you know what i mean. Who's the slow poke now? :)
*sigh* I LOVE my friends and i love my family. I dont' want to miss out anymore and i'm sorry if i have. Please dont leave me.
On another note... the new term is GREAT! i'm so relieved I don't have ap physics anymore. BLASTED class. Was bloody hell if you asked me. GAAH... i can finally breathe some. :) Econ is over with.. another agonizing class i had first term.
New faces.. new classes.. new instructors. What more can come of it? Mrs. Clarkson for English might only be the thing that's keeping me from jumping off the walls. Pity I dont have Mrs. Blomquist again, but i'll give Clarkson time. Doesn't seem too bad. In fact, she might even be okay. ;) Mrs. O'Bear for Molecular Biotech... congratulations on the baby! and as for Mrs. Kosney too!!! I'm so happy and excited for both! :D Anatomy and Physio with Aguilar will be quite interesting. Feels like 4th period Forensics with her all over again. She's great! And last but not least, beloved Mrs. George for ROP graphics. YOU'RE AWSOME! :)
must post more later.. before i loose everything.
Friday, October 17, 2003
humanity today,
adolescent types... life is just soo complicated, if u know what i mean. It's almost insane how much generations changed in the public acceptance of drugs, sex, and money. Sort of sad in a way that feminism as elders know it to be have not surivived its full life span to taint us with postitive knowledge nowadays. i think feminism have slowly decomposed itself over the years and is not as provocative and well recieved or even TRIED by the people today. i mean, just take a look at the life of a teenager at most schools, the popular hollywood fads in clothing and music... so much clevage, so much glory, sex, glamour... money...
SURE, it can be an expression of self and individuality.. in fact, it's an art. However, to be a devils advocate, dont u think at some point, society have reallie abused this kind of art? i mean, take it from a standpoint where guys are given the higher status if he sleeps with the most grls, the pimp, the all star. then take grls... the more guys she's been with, the more of a whore she is. why is it that guys are praised and grls are degraded? ... oorrr how bout grls using their bodily attributes, appearence, and/or sexual taunting manner to "get" the guy's attention? be "popular" with the guys and/or be an "innie" of the hip/cool. It's kinda sad how much inequility we have in the battle of the sexes.. and how much society nowadays have let the problem slip even further after having previous generations succeed in temporarily but prominately fighting this war.
and guys, dont get me wrong, i know there are plenty of instances where grls are given the advantage or what not... and i do know that the male species have their own battles to deal with.. but all throughout history women are always in the minority and are "suppressed" more or less than men.
and on another entirely different note:
It almost makes me sick how others that are more conservative in their visage, attire, morals, and values are being laughed at or discriminated against.
Just because we dress differently than the "poisoned hollywood fad"..(and i say poisoned because society has comformed to it).. doesn't mean it's a bad thing.. in fact, i think its a very good stand to not be "comformists"... perhaps comformity is a bad word to use.. but hope u get the drift...
we shouldn't have to be afraid of "not fitting in" because quite frankly.... we do. we shouldn't be judged by our appearence or what not... and maybe we just choose NOT to express ourselves in attire or our first impressionistic attitudes.
we barely know one another... so please, prejudice is so out of date. get with the program. >.<
Perhaps our morals and values differ.... but please dont "expect" us to change that because we do not agree with the majority of people.
and ya knoe.. i haven't changed much in the 4 yrs i've been in hs or the 17 yrs i lived so far... in fact, i'm very much the same old person except
i've learned a lot more... gained a lot more insight..
am wiser, tho not wise, am smarter, tho not smart... and am still continuing to grow. i am a totally new person but totally the same all in one. i'm not the shy little grl i was bak in middle school.. in fact, i'm pretty outspoken now compared to bak then... but i'll always be shy in a way.. and maybe it'll all change in due time. thanx, but i think i'll pass on demortalizing my morals and values at this point in life into something outrageously different,
maybe if i get influenced and convienced by enough i'll consider it...
wow. did u understand anything i just said.. because i sure... dont know what my point was after all that rambling.
but ya knoe... rambles do have their own sense within "nonsense"....
is anything ever "nonsense"?
i think not.
good day/night to all.
take care!
adolescent types... life is just soo complicated, if u know what i mean. It's almost insane how much generations changed in the public acceptance of drugs, sex, and money. Sort of sad in a way that feminism as elders know it to be have not surivived its full life span to taint us with postitive knowledge nowadays. i think feminism have slowly decomposed itself over the years and is not as provocative and well recieved or even TRIED by the people today. i mean, just take a look at the life of a teenager at most schools, the popular hollywood fads in clothing and music... so much clevage, so much glory, sex, glamour... money...
SURE, it can be an expression of self and individuality.. in fact, it's an art. However, to be a devils advocate, dont u think at some point, society have reallie abused this kind of art? i mean, take it from a standpoint where guys are given the higher status if he sleeps with the most grls, the pimp, the all star. then take grls... the more guys she's been with, the more of a whore she is. why is it that guys are praised and grls are degraded? ... oorrr how bout grls using their bodily attributes, appearence, and/or sexual taunting manner to "get" the guy's attention? be "popular" with the guys and/or be an "innie" of the hip/cool. It's kinda sad how much inequility we have in the battle of the sexes.. and how much society nowadays have let the problem slip even further after having previous generations succeed in temporarily but prominately fighting this war.
and guys, dont get me wrong, i know there are plenty of instances where grls are given the advantage or what not... and i do know that the male species have their own battles to deal with.. but all throughout history women are always in the minority and are "suppressed" more or less than men.
and on another entirely different note:
It almost makes me sick how others that are more conservative in their visage, attire, morals, and values are being laughed at or discriminated against.
Just because we dress differently than the "poisoned hollywood fad"..(and i say poisoned because society has comformed to it).. doesn't mean it's a bad thing.. in fact, i think its a very good stand to not be "comformists"... perhaps comformity is a bad word to use.. but hope u get the drift...
we shouldn't have to be afraid of "not fitting in" because quite frankly.... we do. we shouldn't be judged by our appearence or what not... and maybe we just choose NOT to express ourselves in attire or our first impressionistic attitudes.
we barely know one another... so please, prejudice is so out of date. get with the program. >.<
Perhaps our morals and values differ.... but please dont "expect" us to change that because we do not agree with the majority of people.
and ya knoe.. i haven't changed much in the 4 yrs i've been in hs or the 17 yrs i lived so far... in fact, i'm very much the same old person except
i've learned a lot more... gained a lot more insight..
am wiser, tho not wise, am smarter, tho not smart... and am still continuing to grow. i am a totally new person but totally the same all in one. i'm not the shy little grl i was bak in middle school.. in fact, i'm pretty outspoken now compared to bak then... but i'll always be shy in a way.. and maybe it'll all change in due time. thanx, but i think i'll pass on demortalizing my morals and values at this point in life into something outrageously different,
maybe if i get influenced and convienced by enough i'll consider it...
wow. did u understand anything i just said.. because i sure... dont know what my point was after all that rambling.
but ya knoe... rambles do have their own sense within "nonsense"....
is anything ever "nonsense"?
i think not.
good day/night to all.
take care!
Friday, October 10, 2003
i often wonder who truely takes me seriously and who really take me as just a fool. and if u haven't noticed.. i say i love you a lot... and i mean a lot. they are 3 very powerful words... but not enough to truely express the amount of gratitude one feels... and yet it seems as if u say the phrase too often, it in turn loses a little bit more affection and purity every time its said from the same source. then again, if 'i love u' is rarely said, those u love won't be reminded of their uniqueness and how special they truely are to you...
bleeh.. i need to go.. toodles for now.. finish later. >.<
bleeh.. i need to go.. toodles for now.. finish later. >.<
one thing is for sure. i despise myself way too much.. i dont understand y everything i do is not enough.. it's never enuff.. BUT i've tried my hardest... or maybe that's the problem.. i never try hard enough? blleeh
anyhoo.. done with snr paper! WHOOT!!!!!! :D i'm so relieved tho so tired.. this week is a serious whiplash... so many tests/quizzes/projects/papers.. wow. snr yr sucks.. to a certain extent. i personally think snr yr is worse than jnr yr. funnie isn't it? or maybe it'll just be the first half of snr yr that's miserable
yeahh.. that's it.
llooking forward to 2nd term tho not looking forward to the rest of first term. :(
i've been contemplating lately.. a lot.. about everything, past, present, future... and i've figured a few things out.. finally.. today:
i'm leaving the past behind me... and the present i will continue to travel.. i will forget tempting traps for foolish grls... i will forget my foolishness... i will forget false hopes... i will move on.. i will move on.
i'm going to make it into college.. and i might travel far.. i might leave here forever, to think i'll wander.
ironic. i got onto the bus today... and actually said to myself, all these ppl i've spent HS with.. i probably will never see them again reallie even if i stay in calfornia. just think, wat if i go to boston? wow. i'd be wayy out of the picture.. its a whole fresh new start. a fresh new start
leave my foolishness behind.
anyhoo.. done with snr paper! WHOOT!!!!!! :D i'm so relieved tho so tired.. this week is a serious whiplash... so many tests/quizzes/projects/papers.. wow. snr yr sucks.. to a certain extent. i personally think snr yr is worse than jnr yr. funnie isn't it? or maybe it'll just be the first half of snr yr that's miserable
yeahh.. that's it.
llooking forward to 2nd term tho not looking forward to the rest of first term. :(
i've been contemplating lately.. a lot.. about everything, past, present, future... and i've figured a few things out.. finally.. today:
i'm leaving the past behind me... and the present i will continue to travel.. i will forget tempting traps for foolish grls... i will forget my foolishness... i will forget false hopes... i will move on.. i will move on.
i'm going to make it into college.. and i might travel far.. i might leave here forever, to think i'll wander.
ironic. i got onto the bus today... and actually said to myself, all these ppl i've spent HS with.. i probably will never see them again reallie even if i stay in calfornia. just think, wat if i go to boston? wow. i'd be wayy out of the picture.. its a whole fresh new start. a fresh new start
leave my foolishness behind.
Saturday, September 13, 2003
i smile bleakly back at the frowning world. say, are u? :]
goodness shall forever sustain even if only a trickle trace is left... should u be the one who will be grateful.
spin spin.. turn churn... time awaits no one. run with it and let it sweep u off ur feet ;)
enjoy it. even if everything u ever had and kept sacred failed u....
life is grand...
it isn't a joke.. and yet a laugh. whoot? :)
goodness shall forever sustain even if only a trickle trace is left... should u be the one who will be grateful.
spin spin.. turn churn... time awaits no one. run with it and let it sweep u off ur feet ;)
enjoy it. even if everything u ever had and kept sacred failed u....
life is grand...
it isn't a joke.. and yet a laugh. whoot? :)
have u ever dormited a voice hidden so long ago that u almost loss it whole? have u ever tired letting it sound?
sound it.. but only feel it.
u open ur cords to let it all come out. u expect a raging endowing anthem of wisdom;
however, expect it be not what was or is
for when your cords broke chains to real open steel gates.. not even a wimper escaped... but much more.
wisdom is voiceless, indefinate... wisdom is only heard when one does not speak it but hear it. hear not, but listen be.
sound it.. but only feel it.
u open ur cords to let it all come out. u expect a raging endowing anthem of wisdom;
however, expect it be not what was or is
for when your cords broke chains to real open steel gates.. not even a wimper escaped... but much more.
wisdom is voiceless, indefinate... wisdom is only heard when one does not speak it but hear it. hear not, but listen be.
a caged exotic animal displayed amongst a crowd. you who poke fun, say you, 'thoust is a mad man. mad you are. mad you be.' you, you who decieve urself. animal say it, 'dare you. dare u be more. dare you poke fun. dare you decieve ur own being. dare you. dare you.'
can we not be such hypocrites?
bleh.
can we not be such hypocrites?
bleh.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
if neone saw smallville tonite.. omg.. suspense!! lol.. so sad for kloey tho. uM.. she's like me... no guy would ever like me for who i am.. and it seems as if all i can ever be are good, loyal friends toward everyone.. *sigh* soO sweet tho, for lana and clark.
NEWAY.. enuff about smallville. more art to finish!!!
NEWAY.. enuff about smallville. more art to finish!!!
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