sleep

Tyme to sleep.. it's almost 4am... have to wake at 7. TRUE LOVE CAFE BABY!

Cure of Insomnia: Gone Quizilla Crazy

FIRST try i got this:

Faerie:
Faeries are sweet loving beings who love to help
people. They are not held back by reality and
love to dream and fly around. You probably are
very creative and although not the most popular
person in the world you are probably loved by
many for your sweet caring personality.


What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

SECOND round i'm:

Griffin:
Griffins are gorgeous creatures with the head of an
eagle and the body of a lion. You are smart
and can think on your feet. You also can be a
bit of an airhead and may be called a ditz by
others. You are not dtupid, but in fact, very
intelligent. You are also eager to help others
and are usually docile and submissive. But if
someone offends you you do bite back.


What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Eh, correct except for the video games i think... eH, it's 1/2 correct.

A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven
albums.

Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.

Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.



Your Personality type is the only type that would
like this cool online gothic Game:

www.life-blood.vze.com


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAHAH.. TOO FUNNIE

You're GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip!! You're
strong, tough, and know how to kick some ass.
Don't forget though, no matter how manly you
think you are, you're still just a doll. God
Bless America.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yay! minus the mommy part

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

yes

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."


What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

wow. reallie? me? emo? eh, i suppose.

Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...


What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HUM

Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
(please rate my quiz)


**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

:)

You belong in the world of leaves and trees, where
the wilderness can claim your soul. Somewhere
like a jungle or a thick wooded forest would be
your world. Intensely in tune with nature, you
feel the world belongs to the natural ways that
once ruled the planet. Be yourself, and
everything will work out. Don't let the grind
of the city destroy your free-as-a-bird nature.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

hahahaha.. maybe i was

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
"May barbarians invade your personal
space!"
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a
bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz,
if I had made it an option.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahahahahahaaha. i'm having too much fun with these quizzes

Ballet shoes- beautiful, graceful, and creative,
you enjoy dancing writing and music. You are
often very poetic and sometimes dramatic. You
keep to yourself aside from a few close friends
that you can relate to. [please vote! thank
you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yummy!!

You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

so i'm a storm wreck

You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

hahaha.. apathy. i suppose so, at least when i was taking the quiz! HAHAHA

Apathy, well I can say your lucky, in some ways.
You see Apathy is no emotion, basically you
don't care. But that does not make you a bad
person. Some of my friends are apathetic and I
love them, but it wouldn't hurt to care a
little more. Trust me life hurts, most people
who are apathetic do it cause they were hurt.
But don't worry, life is pain, its also
pleasure. Good luck. (please vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

SO TRUE! LMAO

schizotypal


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

TO DO List?

o yess... dont' you like my new background? Instead of pokka dots on white, it's pokka dots on MIDNIGHT BLUE... INDIGO BLUE! ;) I enjoy it much better. It adds more flavor.

Things i need to do this summer

GO to a native american powwow
Learn how to knit (check)
Learn how to play chess
GO SEE INCUBUS AND THE VINES! (Aug 10th! working on it)
GO SEE HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN! ( :( still waiting for my little sisters to get outta school)
Read like a maniac (MUAahahahaha)
-The Bell Jar
-Angels and Demons
-Others
Run (getting there)
Stars for Alicia (done!)
Go Star Gazing! (if i can find a night when the moonlight won't cause light pollution)
Paint/Sketch like a megalomania (starting up again)
Visit TRUE LOVE CAFE on J St with my sketch book (OO, i think i'm doing that tomorrow! :) sweeettt)

Insomnia once again

I'm too paranoid to sleep because of recurring nightmares.. different every night but constant.... and i'm sick of them. I can't sleep and I can't stay awake neither so I'm a walking zombie if you will... drifting between shadows, in back alleys, and goodness knows where. GAH...

No one is online to talk to and those who are are busy with their own lives.

Today... no, yesterday... no.. today, i started to sketch again. What started as a simple still-life of my little sister sleeping transformed into a distorted and surrealistic composition of myself included. I would have posted it here but my scanner fails me. o well, maybe some other time. It feels so great to be able to sketch freely again.

I think it's after watching Frida that inspired me to be myself again. Watch it if u haven't yet.. but be advise... it's rated R for sexuality and curse words. That movie was spectacular!! so disturbing yet so beautiful... all the lust, treachery, betrayal, loyalty, passion, love, anger, fear, happiness... superfluous emotions all captured and depicted in their own glory. I think in order to appreciate the film, one must look beyond it to understand it. It's sooo ingenius i can't even start to explain the extent of it. :)

On another note, phil and i have been writing to seung who's having such a great time in Korea! :) I'm soo happy for him. Anyhoo, phil started to come up with a name for the three of us with "Chi-Unit".. LOL. Well, i thought it was genius bc it cracks me up everytime but it didnt really include all of us. SOOOOOO, having the spare time i have, i came up with CPR.. (Chi, Pak, and Ramos) HAHAHAHA.. LMAO. .. get it?! hahahahahaahahaha. good job me. well, at the least, i like it. i think it's hilarious ;D dont' you? :) yes, geeky and nerdy but hey! we're all science majors! LMAO.

oo, another movie i saw is WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON (and i've been seeing a lot since i got a blockbuster summer pass now... keehehehehe. swt!). let me just tell u how sweeet that movie is (and this is coming from ME! AMY CHI who RARELY likes the mushy gooshy romance stoof) yesh yesh, it's a chik flik but at any rate, it had a swt ending... the movie itself was alrite... i guess the fact it came out to be a semi-bearable film for romance when i had reallie low expectations for it is the reason why i liked it. bleh.

what else... wat else. eh, i dont knoe. wen i come up with something, i'll let me, myself and i (that's you)... know. WOW. i'm talking to myself. how pathetic! HAHAHAHAHA. after all... i am

>.<

N0RMALLYSTRANGE :)

Fact

Did you know....

The average woman consumes 6 POUNDS of her LIPSTICK in a lifetime?!?!?!

Real Fact #53 from Snapple.com

GROOSSSS! hahaa... good thing i don't wear make up. uugh... >.<

Deja vu

I think i'm about to puke...

:(

damn ulcers... rawrgh :P

My Dearest Cousin Mimi

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...
(CHA CHA CHA)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR

MIMI!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU!

:) I love you and miss you muCho. Best of wishes and luck and may today be sweeter than sweetest for u. :*

Passion

i feel like painting. oooOo.. on concrete! or wood. or sand paper. Oh, i just have this idea....


back to work.


i love acrylic.... which reminds me.... UNIVERSITY ARTS OVER SUMMER + TRUE LOVE CAFE AFTER.. sweeeettttt ;)

Recent Books

I started to read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath...
and only 10 pages into it, I'm already loving it.

Gah, what a beautiful book.

READ IT! :)

Comment bOx Enabled? WhA? \:.

Try "Too Many Things to Carry" ;)

So I finally figured out, also, how to enable "Comments" on this blog. How sweet. As if anyone ever reads and respond to them anyway. Bleh. TOODLES NOODLES.

Chelsa, Brian, Nikki, Rhi.. another snr ball pix. Dont they look hot? ooo. too hot to touch. haha.

Yeah... snr ball was a bit unneccessary

Learning how to post pictures.. HAHA

Yay, I finally learned how to post pictures on my blog.. HAHA, can ya tell i'm bored since school's been out?! >.< Why else would I have figured it out? :) I MISS RHINANNON... AND MY ART PPL. I LOVEEEE UUUU!

Snr Ball.. the Moment we both said "The Hell with It"

Senior Ball. Myself and Annee!

I think this is my favorite picture thus far. Taken right after dinner when we both decided to toss all our baggages aside and just let loose and be carefree. :D I miss her... thanx for sticking with me that nite! *muAh* CCHHEESE~!

Remember

Thank you Trevor for teaching me to look again. I Thank you for reminding me to look at the sky. :) u have my sincere humbleness. The walk was beautiful.

Alica C. I will wish and pray for u.. hold on tight to the faith u have; u are an amazing person with unspeakable strength. May god(s) of all religions bear love for u.

Friends will find you when you are truely lost... I am forever grateful. I love my friends!

Have u seen the sky lately? Or the stars? :)

Mirage too good to be true

It's 3 am Sunday morning; the lonely traffic plays softly in the backdrop while perpetuating pillars of a fan cut quickly through pickets of a barred cage creating an eerie sonnet in the most imaginable ways.

Others may take it as a rattle in the ears that make them wince, but one thing is for sure: the phantom of insomnia has encased me... masker of a dark cape and I wonder when this horror film will end. Perhaps it'll tail off like a feather, light as a rock. Yes, light as a rock I say.

i'm not making much sense, i know...but has or does anyone else.

High school is over and I am delighted to see that I have received my all so seemingly Xeroxed piece of parchment, limp as a fish, as my certificate of completion-- a perfect example of an all too ambitious civilization. I've always wondered why I did the things I did to get to where I am and the answer has come to me. I've wasted four years trying to be someone I am not.

Perhaps you may think I am only going through a transition phase... perhaps very much between phases or maybe I've lingered a bit too long for it to be considered redeemable. I'd like to think it as another renaissance of an archetype for, too great for the greatness to be resembled... too familiar for it to become popular. Can u tell me what the difference is between a football field and a hockey field besides the obvious specific uses and appearances of it? Does it really matter? No. Actually it doesn't. I?m not quite sure if anything is for that matter.

Odd thing is, everything has gone so swell since high school has been over. I mean.. hey I got the scholarship I was looking forward to, I graduated, my parents are allowing me to move out, I got a new cell phone for goodness sakes, and I feel so relaxed at the moment .. Freer than I've ever felt in the past four years

but I'm all too cautious to know that this feeling wont last. Interestingly enough, I will be taking summer courses at city with two of my darling friends: Philip and Seung. I am actually looking forward to doing so and I feel so determined to suit myself in battle arms and brave the cold chafes of imperfection and countless nights of college life. I'm almost convinced that I don't want a break but I do.. I really do.

I left high school on a mildly bitter note. Looking back through the looking glass, high school was merely a speck of this never ending cycle of civil life that I find disgustingly structured but am all too afraid to take the road less traveled by well breaded women/men nowadays.

High school wasn't all that made out to be. not like the dreamful youth and carelessness that everyone said will be the most memorable times of your life. I think its all just a joke and a figure of speech.. I mean scientifically speaking, when you do get older, all u seem to remember is the reasonably latter years previous of.

At any rate, HS was an experience and life of its own. I hated the cliche image of snooty teenage grls and guys that think only materialistic things matter. and yes I'm making an incredibly horrible mistake here to stereotype most entities of Sheldon High but I will. I'm sure we all have emotions and we all have sense deep within ourselves to realize image is only fraud but boy have I been around it long enough to say it poisons the mind like no other substance. The immaturity level of infatuation is highly annoying and I am glad I wont have to deal with it on a daily basis anymore.

Talking to my dear friend Marielle... I've come to realize a lot of things and because of Marielle, I see I am not ashamed to speak of it as a sin...

I realized that I won't be missing a lot of ppl from Sheldon... there are only but few people i will dearly miss and these I will keep in dear contact with for years to come. These few are my savors from insanity's gaping mouth and u know who u are because i'm always willing or buggin u about problems or interests I have/we have.. i thank you soo much for ur advice and counsel.. I am forever in ur debt. on the ohter hand..

Dont get me wrong, I will and already do miss seeing many faces that I've become acquaint with in the past years of middle school and hs... and I will miss what they've done for me or haven't done for me. I am grateful for every last spark of memory... good and bad... shared by those who I have crossed paths in my lifetime thus far.. whether it be a second or a milisecond, i am very honored to encounter those and things I have come in contact with. I've learned much aobut myself and much about the world because of them.

There's a large percentage of me that just want to wipe my slate clean and start a life ... a new life in college... no strings attached... and I may just do it with the exception of family and my dear friends.

gah, too early for me to be thinking too much.. i think my energy is running on empty ... i should continue my contemplation some other day. best of wishes and luck.

GOOD OL' high school graduate CONVERSATION

GOOD OL' high school graduate CONVERSATION


kaY8686: good stuff
kaY8686: ur up quiet late today
kaY8686: i never see u on past 10
kaY8686: haha
MstikalStarGazin: lol
MstikalStarGazin: hahahahahahahaha
MstikalStarGazin: reallie?
kaY8686: ya
MstikalStarGazin: i suppose
kaY8686: unless.. im the one thats never on
MstikalStarGazin: that's because my sister always beats me to it or kicks me off so she can go
MstikalStarGazin: on
MstikalStarGazin: no, ur mostly always on
MstikalStarGazin: so how have u been/
MstikalStarGazin: since schools been OUT?!
MstikalStarGazin: lol
kaY8686: ya, i am
kaY8686: schools good
kaY8686: ronald reagan died
kaY8686: haha
MstikalStarGazin: yes, i knoe
MstikalStarGazin: and u laff?
kaY8686: not like im sad or anything
MstikalStarGazin: hahahahaha
MstikalStarGazin: yeah
MstikalStarGazin: i knoe
kaY8686: i didnt know the guy
MstikalStarGazin: lol
kaY8686: he lived a full life
MstikalStarGazin: yes he did
MstikalStarGazin: so what have u been doing?
kaY8686: ummm
kaY8686: nothing i guess
kaY8686: i didnt see u at sober grad or grad
kaY8686: o wait
kaY8686: i saw u at grad
kaY8686: not sober grad
MstikalStarGazin: lol. i didn't go to sober grad
kaY8686: awww
kaY8686: o well
kaY8686: it was too short
MstikalStarGazin: lol
kaY8686: man
kaY8686: its so hot
MstikalStarGazin: did u have fun at the least?
MstikalStarGazin: hahaha
kaY8686: ya, i did
MstikalStarGazin: always complaining
MstikalStarGazin: that's goood
kaY8686: is that how u think of me?
kaY8686: always complaining?
MstikalStarGazin: no no no
kaY8686: sure
MstikalStarGazin: in general.. the human species
MstikalStarGazin: yes
MstikalStarGazin: i'm sure
kaY8686: r u making fun of me?
MstikalStarGazin: no
MstikalStarGazin: i'm making fun of everyone
kaY8686: r u angry?
MstikalStarGazin: :-)
MstikalStarGazin: what?
MstikalStarGazin: maybe
kaY8686: hahaha
MstikalStarGazin: i'm angry aht the world
MstikalStarGazin: lol
MstikalStarGazin: hahaha
kaY8686: don't u miss hs?
MstikalStarGazin: HEK NO
MstikalStarGazin: OMG
kaY8686: i miss the people
kaY8686: not the place
kaY8686: i miss u, and everyone else
MstikalStarGazin: dont ask me that question because it'll always be a n. o.
kaY8686: hahaha
MstikalStarGazin: lol
MstikalStarGazin: i miss u too
MstikalStarGazin: and everyone else
MstikalStarGazin: well...actually
MstikalStarGazin: i reallie dont miss a lot of ppl
kaY8686: im gonna miss ur happy face at the lunch table
MstikalStarGazin: only certain ppl
MstikalStarGazin: lol
kaY8686: your "happy"
kaY8686: face
MstikalStarGazin: o goodness sung
kaY8686: hahaha
MstikalStarGazin: EEWW
MstikalStarGazin: HAHAHA
MstikalStarGazin: i'm not happy
MstikalStarGazin: i'm morb id
kaY8686: cuz u smile
kaY8686: but
MstikalStarGazin: hahaha
kaY8686: i know u wanna decapitate someone
MstikalStarGazin: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MstikalStarGazin: YAH
kaY8686: probably me
kaY8686: but thats ok
kaY8686: i have it coming
MstikalStarGazin: lol
kaY8686: damn
kaY8686: i gotta talk to smoeone thats going to sacstate
kaY8686: do u know anyone else thats going there?
MstikalStarGazin: uMmmm.. lol
MstikalStarGazin: my brother?
MstikalStarGazin: my sister/
MstikalStarGazin: hahaha
MstikalStarGazin: no, i dont reallie know
MstikalStarGazin: jennifer parsons
kaY8686: omg
kaY8686: why would u get my hopes up
kaY8686: i just need to know when to sign up for classes
MstikalStarGazin: jonna is going there too i think
kaY8686: i think shes crc
MstikalStarGazin: ooo
MstikalStarGazin: oooOOh yeah
MstikalStarGazin: yeah
kaY8686: ....
kaY8686: stankin' uc people
MstikalStarGazin: most of student gov are going to sac state
kaY8686: hahahaha
kaY8686: yay for our school leadership
kaY8686: lol
kaY8686: hahahahaha
kaY8686: why is it that that makes me happy
MstikalStarGazin: HAHAHAHAHAHA
MstikalStarGazin: LMAO
kaY8686: what?
kaY8686: it does
kaY8686: gj people that tried in school
kaY8686: hahahah
MstikalStarGazin: hahaha
kaY8686: i graduated with 150+ truants
MstikalStarGazin: HAHAHA
kaY8686: over all
kaY8686: and im going to the same college as them
kaY8686: hahahahahahahaahah
MstikalStarGazin: lol
MstikalStarGazin: o sung
MstikalStarGazin: we're all finished with HS
kaY8686: omg
kaY8686: u wanna here about this stupid dream
kaY8686: that made me mad?
kaY8686: this was a few days ago
kaY8686: i was sleeping
kaY8686: of course
kaY8686: and the dream was
kaY8686: that i had this huge project due for school
kaY8686: and that i didn't start yet
kaY8686: yes, for hs
MstikalStarGazin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
kaY8686: and when i woke up, i thought i still needed to do it
kaY8686: or i wouldnt graduate
kaY8686: cuz all of my grades were borderline
MstikalStarGazin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
kaY8686: and so for a few seconds
kaY8686: i was panicing
MstikalStarGazin: i need to put this in my blog
MstikalStarGazin: u mind?
kaY8686: go ahead
MstikalStarGazin: lol thanx
kaY8686: and then i remmebered
kaY8686: so, i wasl ike
kaY8686: wtf.. stupid dream
kaY8686: and went back to sleep
kaY8686: but ya, it made me stress about a school i dont even go to
kaY8686: it was that... "i gotta do my hw" kind of stress
kaY8686: too
kaY8686: and that made me hella mad
kaY8686: cuz i had to feel that crap during summer


OH THE JOYS OF HS... YAY! we're donnneeeeee ;)

The "Leaving" Conversation with Marielle

So graduation day is gradually seeping in and the dawning skies of tomorrow will come in due time, however, much has been lost, much has been gained.. but more importantly, much has been learned.

Today is a good day and thanx to Marielle, a dear friend I deem as one of the many miracles and gifts from the unknown, I realize how much has gone by without me knowing. Sitting there laughing, joking, and talking was just what I needed at this point in my life and I thank her for being there at the right moment at the right time. There are so many things I can forget... can CHOOSE to forget and I concur.

Color Quiz

you are lightcyan #E0FFFF

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well. Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

eH, the truth varies.

snr boards HA. WADDA JOKE >.<

snr boards, let me just tell you how much i failed that STUPID, USELESS, AND meticulous piece of crap…

so the night before (since I went Friday) was a minimum day. technically I had the whole day to plan my speech and practice. to my dismay, I spent whole Thursday night doing a DAMN research paper for my crc English 1a class (due Sat) because my paper got trashed along with all my other files that was on my computer (ARGH viruses :P)!!!

…I had plans to go home early to allow myself at least 15 minutes to write my speech for snr boards… as it turns out, I waited at crc til 10 friggen 30 and NO INSTRUCTOR..
WT FRIGGEN A---

so I waited for nothing… and went home.. was too friggen tired to write my speech so I screwed myself over by waking up late.. getting to school without a speech and more importantly, without my props for my visual aid. WAT THE FREAK?

I was driving without a license because I left my wallet on my desk rushing to start my long weary drive to school. anyway.. so I called my brother to drop off the stuff at the office for me during lunch and it was PURE LUCK that he picked up his cell and was finished with his final. >.<

anyhoo.. so 3rd period came… and then 4th… and wt freak… I signed up to be the first one to go.. and I did… OMG.. can I just say that the judges were probably thinking “WAT IS THE F’IN PROBLEM WITH THIS GRL? sHnapoly crap she’s just friggen rambling on and on without direction.. she didn’t even use her props. what was she thinking?!?!?!"

yeah.. 7:25. what the SLACKER? since I only needed 30pts from 100 to keep my a in English… I allowed myself to only go for so much and allotted myself the minimum. what the low standards for amy chi. >.< GAH. o well. haha.. that was awesome tho.. I hekka just stopped in the middle of my speech wen I could have gone on for longer to finish and said… “I’m done” WITH A BIG CHEEZY SMILE like I didn’t give a f* and walked off without eye contact afterward.. HAHAHAHAH… SOOO RIDCULOUSLY FUNNIE! ALL THAT ATTITUDE TOO. omg... in front of my teachers toooooo!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHA

i enjoyed the look on mr. howard's face. 0_0 complete SHOCK. hahahahahaha... but of course ms. smith laffed at me afterward because she knew i was gonna pull it on her. she's awesome. :)

SNR BOARDS SUCK BUT ITS ALL OVER AND DONE WITH.. I STILL HAVE AN A AND I DIDN'T DO CRAP PRESENTING .... HOW

SWEEEETTTT ;)

--gotta admit tho.. snr project itself was pretty fun. cpr and first aid.. haha wat the nerd >.<

snr ball

I forgot to mention snr ball. Just to recap:

So the subject a exam was crap... and i got home.. went last minute shoe shopping... and got to annie's house where she did my make up and hair. omg my hair took forever. it was so funnie bc once we did our hair and makeup, we up on our dresses and both of us just stood there in front of the mirror and let out wales and whimpers.. hahaha. we both thought we looked horrible and didn't want to go. then we got over it, so it wasn't too bad. she looked awesome tho. really. and thanx rhi for everything. u're awsome babe ;) annie was soo adorable in her self made prom dress despite what she says~!! she's hot, she's glamour, she's everything she says she isn't. :*
when we got to the convention center, we felt so outta place like two punktresses in a glamourous and sophisticated ball. haha... the night started out horrible... we were alone and annie was blue because she didn't have a real date... anyhoo.. we cheered her up and JEN shows up! yAy! lol. the three of us sat all lonesome at a vacant dinner table to wait for the rest to come.

we waited

and

waited

and waited...

30 minutes pass

....


1 hr passed

another 30 minutes

and finally they show... we said our hellos and most parted us while a few sat at our now 1/2 empty table... the night began as things started to look brighter and annie and i didn't let the little things or ppl get to us. After dinner, i saw MARIELLE! LOL. and of course the LAN-Es! and the CaLLaOs, ChisTine and Miguel... everyone looked fabulous and it was great to finally see some friendly faces... everyone's spirits lifted and annie and i decided to let loose. We danced our first slow dance together and it was hilarious.. so thank you sweetie! I got snagged here and there but all was well. Dancing was fun and for the first time in a very long time, i didn't give a care what i did or how others would see me... senior ball was a blast because I felt that there were no more strings attached and the freedom from psychological tethers were granted... do u know how good that feels? bc i did. :)

anyway, snr ball ended and ANNIE STAYED the whole nite! whoot!! lol. and I'm glad she did because she was soo amazing and she said she had a great time and glad she stayed at the ball til the end tooo. She didn't leave early like she wanted to in the beginning and stuck it out.

Annie brought me to True Love Cafe on J St.. and so i was no longer a True Love Virgin. lol. That place is soo AWESOME.. i mean, what a great cafe atmosphere... the lighting, the romance, the most intriguing ppl u'll find ... it's like a tiny cottage.

I gotta go back there sometime during the summer with my sketchbook.. i can spend days there and not be sick of it.. it's THAT awesome! :)

yeah.. that was snr ball.


BLLLAAAHHHHH

Same Sex Mirrages

Be enacted by the whole of United States of America that same sex marriage should be allowed in all states of the nation. Neither one person nor group can define love, and yet it is under the constitution that marriage is defined as bondage between a man and a woman—I do not agree.

Marriage is simply a bond and recognition of love between two persons whether they are of male and female or that of the same sex. It is immorally just to pilfer an emotion as pure and innocent as love from someone. In addition, it is a crime against nature to see to it those in love cannot share such a sacred and harmonious celebration under oath and be respected as married couples among other entities of this state.

Indeed, marriage recognition can simply be gifted sentimentally and not documentarily, however those with sentimental marriages can loose out on the privileges given to those with documented marriages. The United States has always been an advocate for the eradication of discriminatory acts and yet gay couples have endured countless discrimination against them for over the past years of American history. Because same sex couples cannot be legally recognized as married couples by the government, they are not entitled to living wills, advance directives, or any shares that married couples of opposing sexes are entitled to when disaster strikes. The United States of America should ensure full enact privileges to everyone, including same sex couples, for all men and women are created equally—I applaud the four Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Judges for making the right decision to recognized same sex marriages in the roots of equality and justice.

Moreover, I am ashamed of those of religious decent who are so willingly and vehemently opposed to same sex marriage. Indeed, it may be that others are practicing an act considered immoral against one’s religion, but it serves no right to abandon and forcefully imprint these beliefs among those that do not follow one’s religion.

The United States of America is edified upon virtual freedoms and liberties, one of which is the freedom of religion. If the United States of America does not recognize same sex marriage because of the understated religious beliefs then is it not a violation of the fundamental morals and values this nation was founded on? And if it is so that the opposing views upon gay marriages are not induced because of religious beliefs, then what is it that is bothersome to those opposing gay marriages?

Perhaps one should consider the 50% divorce rate in this country verses some same sex relationships that have been kept steady for thirty some years and beyond. Why is humanity today so ignorantly blind?

This is not an issue of religion, nor is it an issue of power. It is simply an issue of fundamental rights and values a person has—the equality of humans to be loved and respected.

Marriages should be recognized as a bondage of love between two persons. Love is a wondrous thing and we have no right to bar a feeling as eccentric and good as love. Ban intolerance for gay marriages and support full and equal rights of all citizens to marriages of all kinds!

stranger to the world

its the first day of STAR testing and whoo hoo, snr activities. THANK GOODNESS we were saved by AP testing info. all in all.. the assembly for ROCK THE VOTE was frankly lame. so after we filled out our bubble sheet for ap tests, i left to wander once again. grabbed some lunch for mickey d's in which i haven't had for a LONNNGG time and once again found myself at countryside park... on the swings, with a book and a sketch pad. although i couldn't concentrate on reading, it was nice .. i swung. ;)

then i met these two adorable little grls... ages 1 and 3 with their auntie. being the stranger i am, i helped them take some pictures and oddly, babysat a while.. haha. and i was a TOTAL stranger! :)

anyhoo.. then i left them alone and wandered the park a bit... no one was there except a few guys on the courts, shooting hoops... tall, big, admirable for their wit and athleticism. Then i befriended another stranger... he was much older than me.. maybe about 30? 40? ... i didnt' get his name but he was very sincere to ask me how i was and such things.

the sky grew dark but i still persist to stay and i did... and while sitting or being ther ethe whole time at countryside, I noticed a shadow on the far side of the park... away from me. much like me, he looked as if he was in highschool... mexican maybe? packpack, book, and a sketchbook with headphones, he sat. curiosity of one another intrigued us as we looked at each other in the far distance... and a sudden welcomeness and filfillment overrid me and i would assume so for him too. we both smiled at each other and waved... both understanding what was needed to be done.. what we both felt like...

and in that moment, i felt i belonged as a stranger to the world.. as he does too. without a single word of exchange, we both knew wat the other was feeling and thinking.. and we respected that silence as we continued our day at the park. i hope i'll see him again. or someone like him when i return to the park in latter days i have left in sacramento.

it was a beautiful moment.

so life is going on downhill with rare one-minute to (at most) half-a-day highs. college is without a doubt something that has been on my mind a lot only because everyone keeps talking about it at school and i can't seem to turn my ears and not listen. wouldn't it be wonderful if our ears worked somewhat like our eyes. an organ in which we have total control over when we want them to function or not? gahh...
everyone keeps asking me where i want to go for college.. and i think, why does it matter? first off, i dont care anymore.. because i'm forced to go to whatever college my parents, uncles, and aunts tell me to, so what is the use of dreaming? secondly, i just dont see a future for me anymore. it just isn't fitting. i can't see it at all. I dont know what life is going to be like a minute from now so how the hell am i suppose to envision life a year or a month or years from now? I'm living life at large and I don't see the point in it anymore. seriously.......... dont worry, i haven't fell into such depths of doldrums and malice that i'd do something stupid... i just dont' see a future. i dont. and stop asking me woiuld ya?
it's not that big of a deal.
college isn't going to teach the life skills i need.. college is not going to be anything but a facade myth society has pretty much tatooed in the minds of our youth; if yuou dont go college, u'll become a useless bum in the streets. let me tell you this, these people living in the streets, at least the majority of them, know things we never will. they have such wisdom we will never embody. EVER. life is precious to them, they have nothing but life to live... have nothing but has everything they need. i want to know. i want to feel. i want to experience.

life is getting better in terms of me not thinking so much.

:] ?

i'm choppy in speech and thought again. RED FLAG-- i dont want to turn my heels again... not like before.. but i know it is and only worse. my inner vacuum ... i disappear... subconsciencely existant... GOODNESS GRACIOUS... CRAPOY.

ekg:
pulse 1
pulse 2...
mass uproar.

cpr 1...
2...
3...

no use.
line dead.

echoed slience that
chill the blood
like plastic emboss...

help me
see me
hear me

but no one dares.

see me
hear me...